This one is only so-so, but I'm not sure how to make it better. Thanks for all your suggestions!
Summer is Ending
By Romance Otaku (http://romanceotaku.com/)
The wind must be fast
I think to myself as I watch the clouds glide past
The blustery breeze; I missed it
Summer was so hot that I could only sit
The clouds; low and gray
Yet they carry on their journey, no words to say
Oh, burning hot days
Finally fall has come to take you all away
I know the seasons will battle more,
But summer is at death's door
Hoards of students will lament at it's funeral
I, for one, will instead thank God it's cool
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,800 Reviews
I really enjoyed this poem. The first line really inspired me to read further as to why the wind must be fast. I view it as kind of humorous how you were pointing out what many would view as unpleasent yet you were in celebration of summer's end. I was a bit confused on the first read due to the lack of punctuation on what was meant to be in quotes. But then I added a little common sense and figured it out. Great job. I will read more of your work.
I like this piece..
The last line was nice.. a different spin to the end of summer, for once.
Personally, I'm not a huuge fan of rhyming poems.. that tend to make writing seem childish and crude. However, you've done a good job with it in this one. The rhyming was pretty subtle, even though it was everywhere. There were SOME phrases that seemed a little bit forced in order to make the rhyme, but not super duper. I would try to work on the flow a bit. The lines are varying length, which makes the rhyme scheme a bit useless, as it isn't able to do it's job, and pull all the stanzas together. Maybe make some of the lines a bit more concise.
The imagery is nice, and I like the topic. Nice job. c:
Coral